Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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