I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
