My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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