You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
