So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
