i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
