I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
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I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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