dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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