Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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