god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
