A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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