Welp...herpes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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