Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
