So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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