this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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