It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dear god my vagina.
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