I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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