So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
