Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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