ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
