went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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