That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
