so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
