hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
