I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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