yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
