Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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