Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
