i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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