loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
