Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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