i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
