mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
