If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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