did you get engaged???
I wish i was in the wii world.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
