the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
