Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
