I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
