dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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