So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
