my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
