what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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