So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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