She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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