My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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