Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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