lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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