Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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