sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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