Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
