Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
