His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
