He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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