One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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