Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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