you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
