you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
