she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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