you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
