if i died would you start the facebook group?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
