i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
