I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she was so not down for the gang bang
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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