Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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